One of the books that I’ve been reading is The Secret Life of Girls: What Good Girls Really Do – Sex Play, Aggression, and Their Guilt by Sharon Lamb. What seems to be one of her most important aims in writing the book is to figure out who the “real girls” are. Society does a lot to tell us what we should expect from young and adolescent girls, but does that really mean that’s who they are? She does a lot to uncover the “potential for sexuality and aggression in our girls” (9) as a method to help girls break through the societal convention that they must be the “pure and innocent girl” (9).
Lamb informs us that sexuality is present even in very young girls, from the sex play games that may involve other boys or girls to mashing naked Ken and Barbie dolls together to practicing kissing with other girls. Nearly all women can recall some sort of these games from their childhood; however, it is something not often talked about. It could be that there is a still present shame in what they did, even if they did not understand its meaning in their childhood.
But often linked with this sexuality is that “little girls’ attempts at being active, angry, and sexual are pushed away by the culture and by themselves” (6). This is something that is obviously hurting our youth and an obstacle in the path of young girls’ growth into strong women. By assuming that girls should fit into the mold of “a good girl,” society is telling girls to hide and feel ashamed of any aggressive or sexual behavior, which could very well be a large part of themselves.
